


how very strang

by Quandrant



Category: Original Work
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-28
Updated: 2019-01-18
Packaged: 2019-04-13 22:03:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 1,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14121768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Quandrant/pseuds/Quandrant
Summary: "This tongue of ink will have to do."





	1. Chapter 1

A very strange thing happens when you're friends with someone. Your relationship grows to a certain point where you're no longer just two minds communicating through flesh bodies, but rather, two minds communicating directly. And I think that our ability to shed our animalistic characteristics and embrace each other is very beautiful.

If a person dies, but are revived in full glory, every single atom of their body brought back, are they still the same person? I used to think they—

 

When I was trying to get rid of the red squiggly line under my typing of the word "animalistic", I found a word in the spell-check. "animistic". Animism is the belief that everything, from the animals to the non-living things like the table or the laptop I'm typing on have a soul of their own. I think that's a very beautiful look on life. Because suddenly you realize how why everything in a particular room looks and behaves the way it does. It's because the souls that reside there are cooperative and they aspire for order. Just some food for thought, I suppose.

 

—weren't because even if you pull a perfect copy back from nonexistence, they wouldn't be the same because once something passes the barrier between existence and nonexistence, they're changed permanently. But I've heard something from a lovely sci-fi British television show called "Doctor Who", and the Doctor's companion tells the Doctor that memories are what define a person. So now I think that even a copy of a person, right down to their soul, is still the same. I'm beginning to think that's true.

Sometimes when I wake up, I wonder if I'm still the same person yesterday and it's always a resounding no. It used to scare me that I took the place, eliminated a person but now I'm no longer afraid because even if I'm not exactly the same as my past self, at least I'm still him. I shouldn't treat my past and future selves as different from myself. They're me and I'm them

 

I

 

'm losing myselfffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff


	2. didyouknowthatmaybethelightintheskyisactuallyjustthemisslehurlingtowardsyou

8:43pm 03282018

 

it's a bit of a shame that "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" doesn't carry the same strength or expression as a true scream. do screams do much anyway? life is strange


	3. Chapter 3

the haze of unsummer swirls around me, caught in the space between thought and reality. memories awaken like ~~THEGLIMMERINGLIGHTATTHEBOTTOMOFTHESEA~~ a slumbering bear in the deep caves of a lovely ~~SICKLYORGANICNEONLIMEGREEN~~ rest

 

~~ECHOESOFTHESUMMERTWISTANDWARPINTOAFEELINGTHATISBUTCOMPLETELYUNLIKESUMMER~~

 

11:16pm 03282018


	4. 4:10pm 040302018

sometimes i wonder if im even the same person as the days go by

 

to which the answer is an obvious no, but compared to all the other days of the week i feel like im substantially different

 

and then when i apply this to the concept of existentialism, i begin to wonder if i was the same person, say, a few minutes ago

when i wake up in the morning i feel as if i am not myself. i feel as if i am a new being, with memories of past lives and people stored in the hollow expanse of my head

 

and even then, how could i even be sure that the past even existed

 

all i have are echoes of it. nothing is certain. what if these echoes were artificial?

 

lately ive been thinking that life isn't the time between your birth and your death, but rather, the time between the moment you wake up and the moment you go to sleep every single day

 

it's a little frightening that i will eventually be replaced by my future self. what will he be like? what will he do? will he even remember me?

 

but it's ok too. because even if im forgotten, i have enough faith in my future self to know that he'll be better than what i am right now

 

~

 

Someday i wish to be able to lie down and finally take in the full glory of the searing sky.


	5. Chapter 5

I'm running. Did you know that running is a very taxing activity? I'm not sure if I love it or hate it for that.

I'm running. I turn a corner that digs into my pride, slam into a wall that gives my courage a concussion. Every time I begin to run some part of me breaks. But I have to survive, I have to run and run and run. Right?

I'm running. I'm tired. My lungs send flares of horror and taxation through my nerves. I suppose I will never get used to pain. I don't think anyone ever does. Self-preservation kicks in and counters these flames with cool blue waves of ~~dopamine?~~ ~~adrenaline?~~ ~~i don't KNOW~~

I'm running. What am I running from? Where am I running to? How long have I been running? Why should I even run anymore?

I'm running. What else is there to say on the matter?

 

I'm falling. I'm falling now, I'm falling and falling. I've suddenly stopped for a moment but something led to me pushing through the glass. And then I'm falling, into the ~~blue blue blye blue blue blue blue blue blue~~ water

I'm falling. Falling has never been more graceful.

I'm falling. Where am I falling to? What is that shimmering in the water below? When will I finally reach it? It looks beautiful. It looks like home. I can almost taste the not-salt of the fresh water on my lips.

I'm falling. The wind creaks and groans around my body.

I'm falling. Does falling really take this long?

I'm falling. I'm not falling. I'm falling. I'm not falling. This fall was conjured from a dream I had. I dreamt I was on a ship in the water and when I poked my silly little head out, I was pulled down. I was pulled far far far far far far far far down.

 

i cant go on


	6. musing

heart doused in alcohol, heart doused in alcohol ignited, heart doused in alcohol burning blue, heart doused in alcohol unfreezing, heart doused in alcohol burning, heart doused in alcohol lying in a heap of green ash.


End file.
